Oh, this is going to be so much fun!
Season 1:
- The things I do for love. This is how you begin a show: throw off a small kid off a tower when he witnesses royal incest.
- I did warn you not to trust me… From the moment the queen just rips King Robert’s signed paper to pieces, up to the sudden betrayal by Littlefinger, this was a magnetizing scene.
- Bring me his head! The series defining moment, for both the books and the TV show. Most stories, especially fantasy and adventure stories, ensure the reader their heroes will always remain safe and survive anything to the finish. Not this series. The supposed main character, who is the textbook definition of the good guy, gets literally decapitated in front of his two young daughters in the first book- and that’s just the beginning. It is a tragic, scary moment.
- Amidst salt and smoke. Having Daenerys losing her husband and unborn child was agony, watching her go into flames was just too much… until she emerges, unburnt, entirely naked, with three baby dragons on her shoulder. The time for magic is upon Westeros.
Season 2:
- The night is dark and full of terrors. Nothing quite makes you wear a condom better than watching a god damn shadow tear through a crazy red-haired seductive witch’s vagina in the middle of the night.
- A man without honor. Nobody knows what it’s like to be the bad man. To be the sad man. That’s where our guy Jaime Lannister comes in. His character arc is born at this scene, where he discusses morality with his captor, Lady Catelyn Stark.
- Fuck the king! The Hound saying fuck this shit I’m out- check. Hellish green fiery explosions blowing ships in the air- check. The Onion Knight (Davos) losing his sons and in mortal danger- check. The Imp (Tyrion) almost murdered and scarred- check. The Battle of the Blackwater is legen-wait-for-it-dary.
- Winter is coming. These are not just words, you know. The dead are coming for us all!!! (Five seasons later, still north of the wall, though)
Season 3:
- Dracarys. Dany began as a fragile, hesitant, abused victim. Her burning the slavers at Astapore when recruiting her army of the Unsullied marks her first step in becoming a force to be reckoned with.
- Chaos is a ladder. An amazing dialogue takes place between the schemer (Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish) and the spider (Varys) in the Throne Room. Politics, philosophy- you name it- they crack it right open. These two adversaries are in for the long hall… Too bad Bran knows everything, Lord Baelish.
- It’s a long way to the top. A highly stressful Wall-climbing-sequence almost ends with Jon and Ygritte’s death; fortunately it actually ends with them kissing above the Wall…
- Holy bolony. Although very, very difficult to watch, the physical and psychological torture Ramsay does on Theon, transforming him into the weak, frightened wreck, Reek, has to be one of the boldest moves and the best character development in TV history of all time. Not to mention, the infamous most evil cockblock imaginable!
- The truth. Brienne is shocked to learn the story and reasoning the Kingslayer gives to him forsaking his vow and instead putting a knife in the back of his king Aerys: apparently the king was insane and wanted to burn the entire city down, so Jaime was actually saving thousands of lives, and never got any recognition for it, instead disgrace.
- Do it or they’ll find us. When Bran, Rickon, Osha, Hodor, Meera and Jojen sit in a tower near where wildlings are passing by with Jon Snow among them, Bran has to warg both Hodor and Summer to keep their presence secret and save Jon’s life.
- The Red Wedding. The television event of the decade, most likely. This shocking, violent, disturbing, controversial and devastating bloodbath is one of the things that made Thrones such a phenomenon. Killing off both Robb and Catelyn moments before Arya would have reunited with them is the cruelest storyline anybody could ever imagine. Still gives me nightmares.
Season 4:
- The Purple Wedding. Every villain has to be punished. Unfortunately for Arya, it wasn’t her who got to do it. It was a conspiracy of Lady Olenna Tyrell and Littlefinger to prevent Joffrey and Margaery’s marriage and weaken the Lannisters. Not a whole lot of times will you get such a concensus of people around the world dancing with joy at the sight of a young teenage boy dying in his mother’s arms.
- I did not kill Joffrey but I WISH that I had! Peter Dinklage is just at his best performance here, and Tyrion shines through every word he speaks. Shae’s betrayal, Varys’ neutrality, Bronn’s absence, Jaime’s silence and Cersei and Tywin’s smug faces make his passionate truthful speech even more powerful.
- If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Oberyn and Gregor’s battle was spectacular, and Oberyn’s passion for justice for his long dead sister Elia Martell is so on the nose. Needless to say, Gregor popping his head like a watermelon was the shit.
- You know nothing, Jon Snow. The battle for Castle Black was a marvelous episode, start to finish. It really paid off dedicating an entire episode for it. Ygritte death was very emotional.
- The Lady & the Hound. For once, something the show came up with and worked overwhelmingly! Having Brienne of Tarth combat against Sandor Clegane was a brilliant decision. Arya abandoning the suffering, dying Sandor to die slowly and miserably was a poignant and hard-hitting moment.
- You will never walk again… but you will fly. Once the Psychic Gang finds that tree from the vision, they meet the Children of the Forest for the first time, but everything goes terribly wrong when wights attack… they run inside the cave. Inside awaits the Three-Eyed Raven, about to begin training Bran.
- I have always been your son. Shae’s and Tywin’s deaths by Tyrion’s hands was a total knockout. Who would’ve thought?!
Season 5:
- The White Wedding. The tears in Theon’s eyes say it all… Weddings in Planetos are the fucking worst!
- Who’s your daddy? And the father of the year’s award goes to… Stannis the Mannis Baratheon, for freaking burning your daughter alive for some Lord of Light. No wonder your wife hanged herself, most your soldiers ran, your mistress bailed and your entire battle failed.
- Hardhome. Another show-only occurence has got to be the single greatest television battle of all time. This is only second to the huge battle before Minas Tirith in the Lord of the Rings.
- Love lifts us up where we belong. Mommy missed you! Who’s a good boy?? Drogon appears out of nowhere and saves Dany and the others almost killed in a Sons of the Harpy mass terrorist attack. For the first time Dany rides a dragon, and it is very Never Ending Story of them.
- Walk of shame. A testament to the power of acting, writing and character development. Though not in the top five storylines of the season, the plot revolving the Faith Militant and the High Sparrow reaches a surprising climax when Cersei is paraded around the streets of King’s Landing naked, with people hissing, yelling, throwing shit and even rocks at her. You’d never guess you’ll feel so sorry for this character, but no one deserves this. Lena Hadey is a gem. Cersei’s humanity exists!
- You’re no one. You’re nothing. IMO Arya’s most brutal murder, it is when she goes rogue on the Faceless Men death cult to revenge the death of her dancing master and teacher Syrio Forrel by killing off Meryn fucking Trant, a vile, violent, creepy rapist who deserves to die. But the way she does it is chilling.
- For the Watch. Did anybody see this coming? Jon Snow dying? And murdered by his own brothers of the Night’s Watch? Let’s talk about how he was stabbed repeatedly and left for dead! It was one of the most intense and unexpected twists ever. And we had to wait an year to find out what’s next.
Season 6:
- “I thought you were dead” “Technically I was, lol”. Attention, D&D! This is how you do a reunion. You seem to have forgotten this in season 7. Anyhow, when Sansa arrives at Castle Black and embraces Jon, it is a sight that is hard to believe: two Stark siblings, together??? As children they weren’t very close, in fact Sansa was mean to him, and maybe it’s another reason why their relationship feels so natural and realistic and touching. A tearjerker.
- Hold the door. SOMEBODY SEDATE ME! I didn’t know I could feel this way. Seriously, who would’ve thought the running gag, the silly joke, our beloved halfwit Hodor, had such a tragic background? Wylis is being warged by Bran, hearing Meera shouting “hold the door!” repeatedly so that Hodor would block the wights’ path from reaching Bran. He has a seizure while muttering the phrase until it turns to one nonsensical word… Hodor… For years, all he could say was a reference to his death. The acting was off the planet, and the time-warp twist was genius. Definitely in my top five favorites.
- Burn them all! A set of flashy visions Bran has might be too quick to comprehend but it’s an amazing moment nonetheless. I just love Bran’s visions, they are so raw, radical and stuffed with foreshadowing and callbacks to the past. I also feel really bad for Bran for having to witness the deaths of his entire family (up until then he basically was the only Stark not to see any member of his family die; now he saw multiple relatives and is helpless). Among various quick visions, Bran glimpses at the deaths of Mad King Aerys II, Ned, Catelyn, Robb; a dragon’s shadow over King’s Landing; wildfire burning under the Sept of Baelor (foreshadowing 101!); and his own fall.
- A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell… and I’m going home. Having had enough, after an intense chase that ended with her killing the Waif, Arya confronts Jaquen one last time before calling it quits on the cult and walking away from Braavos. Ada girl!
- Battle of the Bastards. Another one of those breathtaking war sequences. The tension this battle builds is just inspiring. The Bolton’s strategy is nothing short of genius, the pile of bodies’ minutes were out of this world, and the unexpected save from the Knights of the Vale was spirit-lifting. Great episode.
- Big Bada Boom. The season 6 finale was a bomb, pun intended. The music, the setting, the photography, the effects. This was a masterpiece. Cersei’s revenge was a big moment, you really cheered for her, and then it hit you: she’s the queen now, and she’ll stop at nothing.
- And this, kids, is how I met your mother. The confirmation of R+L=J was a gentle but historic moment. It was genuinely beautiful.
- King In the North 2.0. In a callback to Robb’s men cheering for him, the Northerners cheer for Jon Snow and declare him king in the north. From being a bastard, a steward, a spy, the 998th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, a “traitor”, brutally murdered, resurrected, to becoming a king- it is quite the journey for our pal. And he doesn’t even LITERALLY knows nothing about a legitimate Targaryan heir to the Iron Throne yet! Oh boy.
- Frey pie. Arya gruesomely murders Walder Frey and I love it! A sense of triumph and justice, with the Red Wedding in mind…
- The Armada. Dany, Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, Grey Worm, Theon, Yara, the Dothraki, the Unsullied, the Greyjoy fleet and three dragons, headed to Westeros? Is this for real now?!
Season 7:
- Red Wedding 2.0. Our girl Arya finally avenges the Red Wedding by poisoning ALL the Freys while wearing Walder’s face. Damn, sister, that’s cold!
- Cockless coward. An out-of-the-literal-blue naval attack by Euron results with the death of two of the Sand Snakes, Ellaria and Tyene Sand captured, Yara in Euron’s hands, and Theon jumping ship. It was a profoundly sad moment for so many reasons… Theon is one of the most compelling and sophisticated characters in the show, sorely underused for several seasons; hopefully his role will not be insignificant.
- Cancer for the Cure. I have to praise Iain Glenn. Jorah is a great fucking character. If you didn’t quite figure it out, Jorah was about to kill himself, before the disease turns him into a monster. But Sam had an experimental painful treatment to suggest, and luckily, Jorah obliged. It was not very pretty. Ouch!
- Field of Fire 2.0. Dany, Drogon and Dothraki pillaging and burning through the Lannister army, while Tyrion stands witnessing from the sidelines? Bronn hitting Drogon, the dragon falling, Jaime charging at Dany, Tyrion with his version of Gandalf’s “fly, you fools!”, Bronn jumps to push Jaime into a river to avoid Drogon’s barbecue and them drowning in their heavy armors? It’s too good for words.
- The song of Ice and Fire. This installment in the series was an epic, crazy episode. Yeah, it was quite unrealistic and flawed, but the sequence with the dragons burning wights and the Night King killing Viserion (and raising him as a wight) is something fans have been waiting for years- the literal song of ice and fire. It was glorious.
- Fingered. However weak (nearly non-existent) storyline Petyr Baelish had this past two seasons and the seventh in particular, his eventual much-deserved demise was a true sight to behold, cheer and amen. As Arya is led to Winterfell’s great hall and stands in front of Sansa, Bran and practically everyfuckingbody for a trial, we are led to believe Arya will die at Sansa’s command- until she passes her eyes and points her “finger” on Littlefinger. His shock and terror is priceless. He moves from confusion, denying, trying to get escort back to the Vale, to practically falling down on his knees begging for his life. The way his evil ways are exposed for all to see, after years of dark dealings in confidence, and how he is murdered with his own Valyrian dagger, and perishes inside a puddle of his own blood, are extremely poetic and frankly the cherry on the cake.
- Winter is CUMING..!!! Who’s a Jonaerys diehard fangirl around here?! Well, certainly not me, but it was still sort of exciting to see this taking place even if I think they are gravely incompatible. These are sort of the closest to main protagonists of the story, so their union is significant. Their lovemaking couldn’t have played out any better- just as the two lovebirds bone, gaze into each others’ eyes and reveal the sexiest piece of ass in the Seven Kingdoms, Bran and Sam breaks down the facts that Jon Snow is actually Aegon Targaryan, not a bastard but a legitimate son, which at once turns him from Dany’s lover to her nephew and the truest and most direct heir to the throne she desires more than any man.
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